How to Use the 5 Love Languages at Work to Get Ahead

How to Use the 5 Love Languages at Work to Get Ahead The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, a well-known and respected pastor, author and speaker, has been around for 25 years and has been a 1 New York Timesbestseller for eight years running with over 11 million copies sold and for good reason. The book identifies and ruminates on five love languages we use in romantic and rolleal relationships, but there are actually many business uses for the book, as well.The basic premise of Dr. Chapmans bookis that, put simply, there are five languagesof love and each one of us usesa primary language (of course, we dip into all of the languages at times, but we have one that we tend to use more than the others).If your partner speaks a different love language, then Dr. Chapmen explains that you may bedrngnisfeel loved. His argument, however, is that youre notlagelage unloved you may just not know how to receive your partners love language since you use a different one. The solutionis to i dentify both youand your partners primary love language and thenwork together to use each others languages.Of course, the five love languages dont only apply to intimate relationships. In fact, you can use this advice in the workplace to get ahead.What are the 5 love languages?According to the book, these are the five love languages and what they each meanWords of Affirmation This language uses words to affirm other people.Example You shower your partner in verbal compliments and let them know how much you care about them through words.Quality Time This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.Example You spend a lot of one-on-one time with the other person, whether youre going on dates or hanging out and cooking at home together.Receiving Gifts For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.Example You buy presents for the other person to show them that you were thinking of them and that you care.Acts of tafelgeschirrFor these pe ople, actions speak louder than words.Example You do things for the other person such as treating them to dinner or even picking up some of their errands to give them a break.Physical Touch To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.Example You are physically intimate with the other person, though the physical touch love language does not have to be sexual. It could also mean that you touch them platonically, such as a pat on the back or a high five.We all use some love languages more than others, and each of us tends to have a primary love language. Dr. Chapmans idea is that if you tend to want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner, but they feel that giving gifts when you do spend some time together to suffice, you may not understand each others love. Thats why understanding your love language (what you provide and what you hope for) and understanding your partners love language (what they provide and what they hope for) is key to helping each oth er feel loved.If youre not sure what your love language is, you can take this quiz to find out as a single or as a couple.How can you use the five love languages at work?Of course, the five love languages can be applicable to the workplace, too. Now that youve taken the quiz and know what your own love language is, you can better determine your anfhrer, coworkers and kollektivmates love languages, as well, and work with them with a deeper understanding. Understanding the five love languages can help you build relationships with senior management and employees at your own level.Here are some examples of how to use each love language with your boss, coworker and team.With Your Boss1. Words of AffirmationTo use words of affirmation with your boss, you might consider letting your boss know when their feedback is helpful to you and telling your boss when theyve done something that has proven beneficial for you. Open communication is key in any boss-employee relationship, and while a bos s should be sharing words of affirmation with his or her employee (read positive reinforcement), its equally important to let your boss know when theyre being a great boss.2. Quality TimeSpending quality time with your boss doesnt need to be frequent, but you should be meeting one on one with your boss to discuss goals, ask questions and work together. Their success is often dependent on your success, so your boss should want to help clear up any inconsistencies, define goals and help you achieve those goals. One-on-one meetings might take place in the schreibstube if you have a more formal relationship, or they make take place over lunch. Either way, quality time is helpful to build rapport and work together to move forward.3. Receiving GiftsIn relationships, you might give jewelry, dinners, flowers or another gift to your partner. Of course, those arent appropriate gifts for your boss, however. Instead, the receiving gifts love language in the workplace will have to do with incent ives. For example, your boss might offer you incentives (such as bonuses) for good work, and you might give your boss credit for successes you achieve that credit will help your bossboss understand their job well done, too, which is a gift in and of itself.4. Acts of ServiceOf course, you dont want to be anybodys doormat in the workplace, especially when you have your real responsibilities to handle. But if your boss needs help with a project,you may want to consider volunteering a hand. It will not only be an act of tafelgeschirr that your boss will appreciate, but it could also propel your career for stepping up.5. Physical TouchOf course, the physical touch love language you may use with your partnerhas no place in the workplace. But respectfullyshaking your boss hand when you greet them is welcome and often appreciated.With Your Coworker1. Words of AffirmationJust like youd let your boss know when their feedback is helpful, its good to let your coworkers know when their feedbac k is helpful. Likewise, coworkers will often be the ones whose work you rely on and who rely on your work you might be doing a project together and, in buchen to fulfill your duties, you need them to finish theirs. For example, if youre writing an advertorial for a client, you might need your coworker in advertisement operations to secure the client and define the clients goals for the advertorial before you can get started. If they do that with time for you to meetyour own deadlines, you might want to share words of affirmation with them. A thank you isalways appreciated, especially if a coworker has gone out of their way for you.2. Quality TimeSpending quality time with your coworkers builds workplace morale.Current research suggests that all types of relationships with coworkers play an increasingly significant role in job satisfaction. In fact, the secret to workplace productivity might even be workplace relationships.A study at Fierce, Inc. surveyedover a thousand individuals to gain insight into the impact of relationships between coworkers, and it found that nearly three quarters of those surveyed consider two or more coworkers friends andthe most productive employees and workgroups have a best friend at work. To have more quality time with coworkers, you may consider going to happy hours and other outside work events.3. Receiving GiftsA gift for your coworker might be as simple as cupcakes on their birthdayor sharing office supplies with them when theyre running low. Workplace relationships arent dependent on gifts, but gifts dont have to be so traditional. You might also want to geta gift for coworkers around the holidays4. Acts of ServiceAnact of service doesnt have to be much. Maybe you submit an assignment earlier than your deadline to give your coworker who you know is leaving for vacation soon some more time to contribute their part before they leave. Or maybe you help them by taking on tasks and filling in for them while theyreaway.5. Physical TouchAgain, respectfullyshaking your coworkers hands when you greet them is a professional form of physical touch. Or maybe you high five when you reach a goal.With Your Team1. Words of AffirmationYour team is dependent on one another to achieve mutualsuccess. If one person does well, the team does well. Be sure to thank and give credit to your teammates for a job that benefits the team well. The fact is that many women dont often take credit for their own work, especially in team settings. Research shows that when women have other advocates touting their hard work, theyll get the credit they deserve more often.2. Quality TimeThe best way to show youre a team player is to show up, all the time. Show up at team meetings. Show up at the office on time to get started on your projects. Dont skip out early. Show up for all things that are important to the development of a team project. Your team probably spends a lot of quality time together alreadyworking on projects. That said, you can spend time outside of the office doing team-building activities to boost communication, problem-solving skills and trust among each other.3. Receiving GiftsTo give a coworkeron the team well-deserved credit is a gift, because it may mean that theyre promoted or rewarded for their hard work from higher-ups later on.4. Acts of ServiceLike acts of service for your coworkers, acts of service for teams dont need to be much. Acts of service among team members might include picking up tasks for a team member whos out sick or on vacation, for example.5. Physical TouchYou may celebrate team successes withhigh fives and pats on the back.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a multimedia journalist and an adventure aficionado with a keen cultural curiosity and an affinity for solo travel. Shes an editor by day and a travel blogger at HerReport.org by night.